I built something that changed my friend group's social fabric

(blog.danpetrolito.xyz)

418 points | by dandano 3 days ago

43 comments

  • donatj 8 hours ago
    Mildly reminds me how being online on AIM or ICQ was an actual invitation to chat. I had so many interesting conversations with people I barely knew.

    There's no source of that signal that someone is open to chitchat these days, and it's in my opinion kind of killed what was once great about online communication.

    • 101008 6 hours ago
      This is something I've always wanted to write about, and I imagine that someday I'll end up with a long article, but basically, it's the idea that the internet used to be offline by default, and now it's online by default.

      People used to be offline by default. You had to “connect to the internet.” Open MSN, go into forums and check the latest unread messages, come back from a concert and manually upload the photos to your Fotolog or wherever. Now it's the opposite. We are online by default. The expectation is that we're always connected and respond quickly. Going to a sports event or a concert? You have to post a story to Instagram from that very place, not when you get home. Someone sends you an email or a WhatsApp message? You’re expected to reply as soon as possible.

      That’s what I miss most about the internet—the idea and the feeling that I would go online when I wanted to, not that I lived inside the internet 24/7.

      • gausswho 3 hours ago
        Like many who lived through this inversion I can absolutely relate.

        I've culled my notifications substantially and my life is better for it. But I miss that feeling of firing up AIM and seeking out someone to chat with. Or someone spotting my arrival and immediately saying hi.

        I realized yesterday that I don't use phones like others do. I want to be in airplane mode whenever my phone is locked. Not Do Not Disturb mode. I want my modem off. I don't want any phone calls, ever. I'll get to your messages when my flow state has subsided.

        But when I unlock the phone, I want the modem to automatically come back on. I am subliminally tapping into the heyday of AIM. I'm expressing "i'm free. what's up?!".

        Problem is, it's not an occasion to anyone else out there. Most people always want to be available and I have a hard time understanding why.

        • BeetleB 1 hour ago
          > I realized yesterday that I don't use phones like others do. I want to be in airplane mode whenever my phone is locked. Not Do Not Disturb mode. I want my modem off. I don't want any phone calls, ever. I'll get to your messages when my flow state has subsided.

          You're not alone. Here's how I solved it: Last year I really wanted a new smartphone just for the better camera. My existing phone from 2018 was still working fine, but the camera sucked.

          So I bought a used, but only few months old, new smartphone.

          And I never got it hooked up to the cell network (i.e. no SIM card). I now typically carry two phones on me. The old one is for texts/phones. The new one is for everything else. A clean separation. At times when I do groceries or something, I leave the SIM phone in the car so no one can contact me.

          When the old phone finally dies, I'll just find the cheapest smartphone to replace it and maintain the separation.

          For app notifications, I use the Buzzkill app to keep them down. For a long time I had it set up such that I would not get any notification for texts - other than a vibration. No sound. No flashing LED. And no notification in the task bar. If I wanted to know if I'd received a text, I'd have to open the app. I strongly encourage this set up.

          Before I got a smartphone, I would turn my cell phone on only for emergencies and the occasional coordination (picking someone up - call him and let him know I'm downstairs). I told people they wouldn't be able to reach me on my cell phone, and to call my home phone (landline, and then VoIP) if they needed me.

          Then I finally got a smartphone. I still have that home phone. But boy, I often tell people that my life is definitely worse because of that smartphone. I like the portable computing device, camera and GPS. Just not the phone part!

          • gausswho 1 hour ago
            I have been considering this. I even came up with a name: Good Phone, Bad Phone. Your experience is instructive, thank you. Other than the additional cost, I think it has lots of upside.

            I daily drive a Pixel on GrapheneOS and most of what I install is from F-Droid repos. I'm wondering if I should just de-SIM that one to make it 'Good Phone' and my 'Bad Phone' should just be a Light Phone or maybe something more featureful.

            • BeetleB 29 minutes ago
              I should also add: I don't install apps like Signal/Whatsapp on the SIMless phone. No one should be able to call me on it. Period.

              I do have a mail app on it, and it checks mail only when I tell it to (i.e. not running in the background giving me email notifications).

              At home, I keep the phone with the SIM in one room. I can use the SIMless phone around the house and not worry about pings.

        • tracker1 2 hours ago
          Definitely of a similar mindset... my text notification chime is about as subdued as I can make it... I mean I don't want to miss a text entirely, but would really rather push it all off. I disabled email notifications and other app notifications entirely. I wouldn't disable my actual phone calls, though I don't like that nearly half the calls I get are either spam, or bots notifying my of dr appts.

          It's all gotten so dysfunctional as a whole. My SO gets on Tiktok live chats (whatever they're called) and I'll get into an X space now and then. Once in a great while, I'll pull up IRC. I really do miss the days of AIM an Yahoo Messenger chat groups though. It was fun. I also miss the locality of BBSing back when. With the internet, we tend to segregate based on interest, and you lose the local aspects and actual interaction, get togethers, etc.

        • pests 1 hour ago
          > firing up AIM and seeking out someone to chat with. Or someone spotting my arrival and immediately saying hi

          The best was when that hi came from the person you had steady started typing to

          • gausswho 48 minutes ago
            yes! before typing indicators.
      • nemomarx 6 hours ago
        The Internet used to be semi literally a place you went - a desktop in the corner of some room, not central on a desk, not in your pocket. And with a ritual to access it on top of that and the dial up sounds and all.

        It's more present but also more invisible now, yeah.

        • 98codes 3 hours ago
          It's funny -- before social media, I was more likely able to go find someone to chat with on IRC, a Usenet group, or some purpose-built forum. I knew where my friends were (ICQ, then AIM, then Skype, then GChat), and it worked.

          Now, it's all fragmented into 1000 Discord servers, and who has the time to dig through it all?

        • RugnirViking 5 hours ago
          honestly ive been thinking about this stuff too. a hypothetical forum you could only log on to read if you idled on a certain page for 15 mins or something would probably have a lot higher standard of discussion and be a lot better for peoples lives, for example.

          The most minute of barriers requiring you to deliberately and consciously join and leave...

          • reg_dunlop 5 hours ago
            Reminds me of https://diewithme.online/ which I just learned about.

            Not exactly the same as your idea, but definitely in the same vein of "only available under a certain condition"

            • xp84 3 hours ago
              This is most definitely an invitation to abuse your phone’s battery, but at the same time I absolutely love this idea. It’s hilarious to imagine someone eagerly awaiting the chance to log onto the site as the battery dips from 8, to 7, to 6. “Just a couple more minutes…”
      • juliansimioni 5 hours ago
        It's wild, and absolutely worth writing about, that at some point in recent years, the concept of "AFK" basically ceased to exist.

        Yes, we aren't technically near a keyboard most of the time today, but we are never AFK in a conceptual sense. Even when sleeping.

        • Deebster 5 hours ago
          I play badminton, which has games that are about ten minutes long. I've noticed an uptick in the number of times I've had to stop and wait for someone I'm playing with to read a message on their smartwatch. I'm terminally online, but I can disconnect long enough for a game or a film - I seem to be increasingly in the minority.
          • ToucanLoucan 3 hours ago
            Honestly I don't hang out with people like that. If you can't put down your Distractify 9000 to play a game with me, then clearly I am not very interesting to you and it's better for both of us to do more engaging activities with more engaging people.

            People bristle at this sometimes- they'll ask why we don't hang out as much and I'll explain- and like, I get it, nobody likes feeling called out or criticized, and I don't even mean it as criticism, not really. Your behavior in reaching for your phone tells me that you have more important things to do, and I don't want to obstruct you from them. If those things aren't actually more important, well, then your priorities are clearly out of wack and you should sort that out for yourself.

            Like just... stop responding to stimuli. Put things in the order in which they are meaningful to you, and then keep that. You're a conscious being, act like one.

      • dylan604 1 hour ago
        > You’re expected to reply as soon as possible.

        I am happy to disappoint these expectations. I feel no pressure from it whatsoever. Of course, I'm of the age of default offline, so that has a lot to do with it. Remember coming home to a "machine" to check messages? That was glorious even if it too had a glowing red dot that wanted your attention.

        The always on mentality is not worth it and quite tiresome, figuratively and literally. I know it's different for women, but I've met a few that are really into the always on concept where they never leave the house without full war paint because "you never know who you might meet". I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

      • joules77 5 hours ago
        Back then Broadcast/Multicast (1 to all/1 to many) was expensive. It quite often resulted in routers and switches catching fire. The chips were too slow.

        A side effect was we didn't have to deal with what Claude Shannon told us happens if everyone is broadcasting - noise increases - no one is really heard - people speak louder - people repeat messages - everyone is getting their energy drained.

        Today Broadcast is free. And thats what we see happening.

        • jeffreygoesto 3 hours ago
          We used to relay messages in a mailbox once per day and got all new ones (called "Maustausch" https://de.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/MausNet). It was pretty cheap because all group and personal messages came in one compressed batch and you had stuff to read and respond for a day. The BBSes exchanged all messages in a tree call hierarchy, you could reach everybody within that one day hop.
      • j45 2 hours ago
        Usable mobile data that was fast enough was one of the tipping points, meeting with the first smartphone that was for the many, the iPhone around the same time.
      • andai 4 hours ago
        No matter where you are, everyone is always connected...
    • shark1 6 hours ago
      I have a theory: what was scarce once, is not anymore.

      Social networks make people tired/satisfied/overwhelmed of "interacting online", and in the worst possible way: passively, not producing anything and just consuming it.

      It sucks.

      • conductr 6 hours ago
        The “satisfied” part is the most harmful imo. This is what causes lack of actual social interaction and real friendships. Loneliness is on the rise as friendships are on a decline, this is a byproduct of social media gratification

        The other more obviously negative components tired/overwhelmed are more of a hangover effect people have after over indulgence. But they’re addicted so ultimately always go back for more (most people).

        It’s weird for me to witness as I never indulged in social media and could always see it for what it is. I watched my wife use and just classified it as a huge waste of time (and had some not so fun, “get off your phone” conversations along the way). Some people are finally coming around to it but a lot of damage has been done and a lot of social fabric has eroded.

        • nvesp 5 hours ago
          I'm not sure the tired/overwhelmed hangover effect is necessarily from social media. I like to think most of my time spent on the internet is productive,reading documentation and cs articles/papers for the most part and i still get that hangover feeling.
          • conductr 4 hours ago
            That’s mental fatigue from learning and being engaged on a topic for a duration. Maybe some additional from screen time/blue light fatigue. But it used to happen after studying for hours pre-internet.

            Just my hunch, but post student life, I think many people are not actually using the internet regularly the way you describe. Only a small percentage of people are doing productive tasks, it’s mostly leisurely consumption

      • 1980phipsi 6 hours ago
        Also that a bunch of the time you're contacted by a random online it eventually leads to them trying to get your credit card info.
        • ryandrake 5 hours ago
          True in real life, too. Whenever someone random comes up to me and tries to engage in a conversation, my guard goes up because 9 times out of 10, they are trying to sell me something or scam me. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be a woman, where your “safety” alarms are also sounding.

          Spontaneous, innocent chit chat is dead, both online and offline because everyone’s hustling now.

          • albumen 4 hours ago
            Counter example: yesterday I took the train and ferry from london to dublin. Trains are a great way to meet new people, especially if you're sitting facing each other. Person opposite me was interested in the maths book my son was reading. Turns out he's an interrailing applied maths student from Scandinavia. We had a great chat for hours and exchanged numbers. My faith in humanity is not dead yet.
        • LtWorf 5 hours ago
          Lol, I got contacted by a stranger and even after like a year of occasional contact I was waiting for the scam to trigger :D
      • munificent 1 hour ago
        It's the social equivalent of eating potato chips until you're stuffed but never actually feeling nourished.
      • burningChrome 2 hours ago
        > It sucks.

        It sucks because the social aspect of social media has been bent and twisted into squeezing every bit of money out of it. In some regards, people are being forced to consume. Companies do anything they can to manipulate users into continual consumption because it generates money for them.

        Even worse now? Companies are rewarding people when users interact with their content. Now people are enticed to create content that purposely angers people so they comment on their content.

        I've deleted all of my accounts now - it was just too fatiguing to try and weed your way through the constant pushing of content to get you to watch or interact with instead of what YOU want to see or watch. YouTube is notorious for that. How many times have you gone to the site and instead of searching for something you went there for, you get completely sidelined into something because they present you with a ton of videos that fit what you're interested in?

        In the immortal words of Joshua: "A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?"

        • fragmede 1 hour ago
          > I've deleted all of my accounts now

          except for this one

      • j45 2 hours ago
        Taking more time away from it and coming back to it gives perspective on what to interact with, and what not to interact with.

        Seeking novelty and fulfillment from scrolling vertically are all individually and collectively patterns, including notifications.

        Creating is different than consuming when it comes to screens. Separating consuming onto a separate consuming device physically helps.

    • bartread 7 hours ago
      Yeah, and the channels that are available... well, here's an example. I'm a member of a couple of professional WhatsApp groups... both of which are so notification heavy that I've permanently muted them, and therefore never visit and as a result derive no benefit from. And, at least for me, there's something about WhatsApp that makes it unamenable to the kind of dip in and out interaction you used to get with IM services. I want to be there when I'm there and not disturbed when I'm not.
      • BeFlatXIII 6 hours ago
        That's the problem with phone apps. They either spam you with notifications or you forget to open them. Desktop IRC clients were more available for passive checking whenever you glanced at the window, but out of the way otherwise.
        • nottorp 6 hours ago
          You can treat whatsapp as an irc client, it's all in your head :)

          I have multiple friend groups on whatsapp - i just check them once in a while to see if anything interesting was posted. All the chat apps I'm on are muted and the mute is muted again to make sure.

          • ryandrake 5 hours ago
            Yes, If you purposely turn off all notifications on your phone, and/or live on DND mode 24/7, you quickly learn to adapt to this world where using the internet is a deliberate action. Sanity sets in: you are deciding when to use your phone or computer, not an algorithm, or other people. You’re back in the driver’s seat, like it’s 2002 again! It’s very freeing.
            • nottorp 5 hours ago
              In 2002 i was still turning icq notifications off i think :)
    • dkersten 7 hours ago
      I remember the early days of Skype and Google talk, calling random strangers and… actually having a conversation with them. I remember they were always confused and surprised to get a random call from a stranger, but were almost always happy to chat anyway!
      • IAmBroom 6 hours ago
        Sounds exactly like ham radio operators.
        • jedimastert 6 hours ago
          Wait hold on, I think you're genuinely onto something here.
      • donatj 6 hours ago
        I've used the username "donatj" basically everywhere since the late 1990s with just a couple exceptions.

        Dude beat me to it on Skype, I called him just out of the blue and had a nice conversation with him, lived in Denmark as I recall. Really friendly guy. I can't imagine doing that now though, let alone the person on the other end actually picking up.

    • kqr 7 hours ago
      Huh, coming from an IRC and email background I have the opposite reaction. Rather than having to wait until someone is online it is much nicer to just type to them and they'll respond once they can. Everyone is open all the time!
      • al_borland 7 hours ago
        Some people used AIM like this as well, at least I did. I left my computer on all the time, so I was always online.

        I was in college during the peak of AIM and it was useful to know who was at their computer or not, which I believe was still viable. Around meal times, we could quickly scan for who was around to see if they wanted to head down to the cafeteria. If they weren’t around, there was no point it asking. For time sensitive messages, online status matters.

        • thesuitonym 5 hours ago
          AIM also had useful states. If you were away for a decent chunk of time (And you could configure what that amount of time was!) it would mark you as idle, and you could set custom away messages (That were actually visible) so folks could know why you were away, or more realistically, what song was on your mind.

          Nowadays the status is completely meaningless. It's a small dot that doesn't accurately reflect your status, and if you choose to set a message, most of the apps hide it anyway.

    • godot 2 hours ago
      Would anyone still use a desktop-only (no mobile) messenger where you have to run/turn on intentionally (not always-on like most mobile-first messengers nowadays), lists online/offline friends the way AIM/ICQ did, and you can only send messages with online friends?

      I get that most leisure computing has moved off of desktop to mobile in modern days, but there's definitely enough of us nerds who're on a computer a lot (even if just for work, if nothing else). It can't be any less than in the late 1990s when ICQ was popular.

      • jrmg 59 minutes ago
        I think it probably is less. I’d hang out on my laptop in the evenings and mornings (like, while watching TV or reading news when eating breakfast) in a way I don’t now. I use my iPad or phone now.

        I do wonder, though, if there’s a gap for a messenger app that runs only while in the foreground in your phone [edit: or tablet or computer!] - or maybe until you next lock the screen, so you can ‘be online’ only while reading, playing a game, or doomscrolling.

    • heresie-dabord 1 hour ago
      This might interest you, it was posted on HN early last year:

      Show HN: Coffeehouse, one-on-one voicechat with random HN users

          https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39067496
      
      (I have no association with the post, the people, or the project.)
    • caned 1 hour ago
      I might relate to this, but I also spent more time talking to friends on the phone 20 years ago. The perception of this greatness can't be disentangled from the experience of youth.
    • dymk 5 hours ago
      Furries are keeping this dream alive on Telegram
    • joseda-hg 4 hours ago
      My group of friends gets something really close to OP, because of our music bot (Which only pings everyone on specific events, like the music queue running out, uncommon enough that it doesn't get annoying, and never more than once a session)
    • deltaburnt 3 hours ago
      Our friend group's social contract is to sit in a discord channel (even if empty) if you're open to chatting. Unfortunately we have no real equivalent for text.
    • cgannett 3 hours ago
      well part of it was there wasnt ^{10}10 = 10^{10^{10^{10^{10^{10^{10^{10^{10^{10}}}}}}}}} more interesting things than chatting with your friends to do online
    • cronelius 3 hours ago
      might have to put a green dot on a hat or tshirt and try this irl
    • ljlolel 7 hours ago
      You can on Hangout.fm since it’s about live music
    • mock-possum 5 hours ago
      There are a billion communities using discord and telegram to do basically what you’re describing - topic rooms, hangout rooms, you can change your online status to signal your willingness to ge sociable.
  • thedanbob 7 hours ago
    > I also had this idea to turn this into an IoT device that has 5 RGB lights and sits on your desk. It would light up when each friend you have delegated joins your Discord voice channel and you could customize the colour for each friend. If I get some traction I might turn it into a real product, so email me at my email address in my about page if that seems something you'd like.

    Hah, I'm also building something like this for notification purposes. My wife's tablet sometimes doesn't show notifications and she's often not near her phone, so I ordered some ESP32's and LED boards[0]. Going to scatter them around the house and link them to a switch in Home Assistant so I can light them up if I need to get a hold of her. I'm planning a back-and-forth scan effect to make sure they're eye-catching, already named them Cylons.

    [0] https://ae-pic-a1.aliexpress-media.com/kf/S9b244caf41934a5eb...

    • DrillShopper 6 hours ago
      My partner is disabled, and my home office is far enough from the bedroom/her work desk that I sometimes can't hear her when she could use, wants, or needs help. These very different priorities make messaging me difficult for her sometimes, not to mention that I can't know what the urgency is if she messages me over SMS/Signal/etc.

      As a result, we were looking into a very similar system where we each have an LED signboard, speaker, and priority lights on the top of a small device that lives on top of our monitors along with an app where she can select "not urgent, but you should know", "when you have a moment", "as soon as you can", and "urgent, right now" in an app, with an optional message, and the device makes a tone and lights the lights associated with the most recent, highest priority message as well as reminding every five minutes.

      I'm playing with an ESP32 right now to implement, but it's nice to see that the entire concept isn't entirely unprecidented.

      • sgarland 6 hours ago
        That’s a great idea! I remember on an Android phone - maybe Galaxy Nexus, or the original Pixel - you could blink an LED with different colors for different app notifications. I had blue, yellow, red, and green for various apps, and so without ever having the screen turn on or the device make sounds, I could tell if I should bother to check.

        To me, not having any sensory disabilities, that’s a lower cognitive load than banners or other text/icon-based notifications.

        • Pilottwave 23 minutes ago
          It is so useful, for me a must have on every phone. on Android the app aodNotify is what I've been using to recreate it.
        • AceJohnny2 2 hours ago
          The Nexus One [1] from 2010 had a little trackball that could light up for notifications.

          While the trackball was understandably nixed in later models (though it was still useful for fine control!), its notification feature is dearly missed.

          [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nexus_One

        • DrillShopper 5 hours ago
          The first Android phone I owned also had this feature, and it was super helpful.

          It's a shame that our phones are becoming more and more voracious surveillance devices without the common courtesy of doing things that are helpful for the user.

        • LtWorf 5 hours ago
          I had a samsung with this over 10 years ago.
      • heeton 44 minutes ago
        I’ve built a few things like this using Nerves / Elixir on a pi. It’s got a really nice dev experience through to useful deployment and over-the-air updates.

        I highly recommend it to anyone building little functional prototypes of this sort.

      • latexr 5 hours ago
        If you have Apple devices and share your locations in Find My, she could use the Find My app to make your devices beep loudly and optionally show a message. Great for urgency, since the beep is really loud and doesn’t stop until you tell it to.

        Your current setup is, of course, much more interesting.

      • justsomehnguy 1 hour ago
        Or just get a $5 radio doorbell. You know, when it's 'urgent, right now' you don't want to learn what you are too late because for whatever reason internet/wireless/cellular wasn't working.
        • mystifyingpoi 28 minutes ago
          This ^ anything else is just wanting to play with tech instead of solving the problem immediately. Which is fine, sure, but that radio doorbell (or better, 3 different ones for different priority levels, since it seems important) will fix the issue right now.
    • bell-cot 5 hours ago
      I've not looked at this space - but with flexible control software, such devices could serve a very wide variety of use cases. And perhaps multiple uses cases simultaneously, far less intrusively than dealing with a variety of alarm & alert systems.
    • f3b5 7 hours ago
      While this is a pretty cool hardware project, I would be quite annoyed to be your partner. No offense, but it almost reads as satire that you want to flash LEDs in every corner of the house if your wife doesn't look at her phone notifications quickly enough.
      • sgarland 6 hours ago
        They said a status board on top of their monitor, not every corner of their house. This seems like a very unobtrusive signal to me. Plus, some people like to hide or obscure their phone from their field of view during work, to minimize distractions. Honestly, the only person I immediately check my phone for is my wife. If I could have a priority indicator along with that, I’d love it. There are some things I need to know immediately (a kid is sick and one of us needs to pick them up, etc.) regardless of what I’m doing, and there are others where it can wait until I’m done with a meeting.
      • thedanbob 3 hours ago
        I thought it went without saying that she's on board with it, and that "need to get a hold of her" meant e.g. "I'm trying to call her but she's out in the shop". 99% of our communication during the day is asynchronous.
      • bombcar 6 hours ago
        Why back in MY day we just had 5-7 kids stationed throughout the house. A simple “Joey, go tell Mom” was all you needed!

        /s

        • c22 1 hour ago
          I remember the year my dad installed an intercom system in the house and then disabled it within a month or two due to its use by children.
      • IAmBroom 6 hours ago
        No offense, but your privilege is offensively visible.

        Deaf people need this.

        • stndef 6 hours ago
          Yup! I have significant hearing loss to the point that I'm useless without hearing aids.

          I'm going to take this idea for my partner to use to get my attention if needed. Having it tie into Home Assistant is a win for me as well.

          • cogogo 6 hours ago
            I don’t have hearing loss but the best way I’ve found to not miss important notifications is a smart watch. Game changing to ensure my wife and I don’t miss each other’s messages around school pickup or anything else important. With an apple watch you can make the vibration pretty unmissable. We both have almost all other notifications silenced so it’s not overly noisy either. I never use sound for any kind of notification anymore - even when expecting important calls.
  • rockostrich 3 hours ago
    I think Discord is the best chat app for friend groups and it's not even close. At this point I've written the following bots specifically for my friend group's server:

    # Music Quiz Bot

    Existing apps work ok. A lot of paid and don't let you use a specific Spotify playlist.

    The only thing annoying about this one is that none of the Discord API wrappers handle audio very well so I've found that this one gets a bit flaky if you're trying to play a lot.

    This one is probably like 500 lines of Typescript but a lot of that is for the Spotify API. The game logic is pretty minimal.

    # Birthday Bot

    This is like 10 lines of Python. It's a cron that reads from a Google Sheet my friends and I keep up to date with personal information. If it's someone's birthday then it'll post a happy birthday message to them.

    # Plex Bot

    I wrote this before I discovered that Overseerr just has this built-in. My Plex was set up with a webhook to hit whenever new media was downloaded. The bot would post to a specific thread with the metadata about the new media. This included another webserver for serving the cover art from the private Plex metadata server.

    # Movie Quiz Bot

    Similar to the music bot although I don't think existing apps exist that do this. Essentially it's https://framed.wtf/ except as a game in a Discord channel where random frames are pulled from movies in my media library and everyone competes to name the movie first. This one required some ffmpeg fun to make pulling the stills not take forever. I considered doing static stills or having a cronjob do it, but it's more fun when it's completely random.

    • sneak 2 hours ago
      The problem is that Discord isn’t e2ee and logs all chats in plaintext for all time, including all DMs. This makes it a nonstarter for me; friends don’t serve as honey in the surveillance trap for communication with their friends.

      Nothing that builds up an ever-growing surveillance database on private conversations between friends can be in the running for “best”.

      • rockostrich 1 hour ago
        We're all aware of this and we have multiple people working in the defense industry with high clearances in the server. If something needs to be shared that can't be made public then it doesn't go in Discord. This covers about 99.9% of our correspondences.
        • sneak 58 minutes ago
          The cognitive overhead of remembering where I can talk about what with which people seems exhausting. I deleted all chat apps except Signal from my phone.

          Signal really should support bots.

  • udev4096 4 hours ago
    Going from signal to discord is crazy. How can you be OK with knowing that your personal voice chats are being monitored, recorded and sold to the next highest bidder? How can it be so easy to choose convenience over that? Or is it that we have essentially given up and wanna actively take a part in mass surveillance?
    • __MatrixMan__ 4 hours ago
      Not every decision is about opsec. If, for what you're doing, you want people to be alerted about your actions without your explicit say-so, then signal is not the tool for that job.

      Shame on discord for having a lousy privacy stance, but most people aren't on signal for the privacy, most people are on signal because that's where their friends are (and one or two of those friends is there for the privacy).

      • heresie-dabord 1 hour ago
        > Not every decision is about opsec.

        Until you find that you expected security and privacy and the developer/corporation/investors say, "too bad for you".

        This is the warning of Niemöller's famous paraprosdokian.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_They_Came

      • udev4096 4 hours ago
        That's the difference between people who give in and people who don't. This is not about "opsec", it's about exercising your fundamental right to privacy. Majority of people are reckless, the ones who take a second to think about it are not
        • otoburb 2 hours ago
          I agree with you, but the trade off is real for most people. It's unfortunately a binary choice: 'privacy ⊕ social community', instead of 'privacy & social' community.

          It's interesting how opensource Zulip[1] hasn't been able to garner as much of a following or usage amongst the gamer crowd compared to Discord.

          [1] https://zulip.com/

          • cptroot 1 hour ago
            These two apps are not comparable. My guess is that 90%+ of people using Discord are doing so for the low-latency voice conversations with optional screen/game sharing.

            Zulip does not have first-party voice chat. You would be more likely to get gamers to switch to a Teamspeak server.

    • worldsayshi 3 hours ago
      Is there some reasonable way to self host a (secure) voice chat channel?
      • abdullahkhalids 42 minutes ago
        Just create a second group in signal with your friends called "group X: call only". Then everyone mutes the group (which I think mutes calls as well). Then whenever someone wants to join the "voice chat" they can just initiate a call. If someone else sees and joins, so be it.
      • c22 1 hour ago
        Depending on your definition of reasonable, you could just pipe the audio over SSH: https://unix.stackexchange.com/questions/116919/redirect-sou...
        • udev4096 1 hour ago
          Wow, I never thought you could ssh your audio. That's so fucking awesome
      • derkades 2 hours ago
        Mumble!
        • udev4096 1 hour ago
          Mumble is awesome but definitely difficult to properly configure. Especially the TLS certs for any reverse proxy won't work directly, there's a hacky way to make it work which I don't fully trust
          • MattJ100 28 minutes ago
            I work on a project in this space, and the endless insistence of people that they have to run clearly non-web things through reverse proxies always amazes me :)

            Not everything is a web app, and it's trivial these days to obtain certificates, even without a proxy (certbot, etc.).

            Of course I understand that if you host a lot of web apps, having all web requests routed through a universal proxy is nice for various reasons. But platforms like Discord and such are complex beasts and use more technologies than HTTP(S).

  • jrm4 4 hours ago
    Man. Reminds me when many years back I had about 10 friends collaborating on a movie and I needed something between asynchronous and synchronous, so I stripped Wordpress down to just titles and little avatars on a front page feed thing.

    About 2 years later Twitter came out and I was like "oh, I guess I was on to something." :)

  • Pyrodogg 7 hours ago
    "Scheduling" can become a four-letter word when it comes to adults organizing for game nights. In many groups game night rarely seems to rise to the formality of scheduling sports with organized practice/play sessions.

    It's nice to hear that this group found a way to maintain the spontaneity.

    • tomashubelbauer 4 hours ago
      TIL about "four-letter word" as an ESL speaker. If anyone else is confused about the linguistic compression algorithm that squeezes "scheduling" into just four letters, the magic is, of course, profanity! And "four-letter word" seems to be a polite way of saying something is or can become a PITA.
      • wavemode 4 hours ago
        yeah calling something a "four-letter word" is intended to evoke the idea that, people react negatively upon merely hearing the word (as though it were an expletive)
  • kadhirvelm 3 hours ago
    Wow so cool, I feel like if I had a light near by desk that turned on every time a friend was on discord voice, I'd be so much more likely to hop in for a few minutes over getting an notification. Something about the physical affordance feels harder to ignore
  • Arainach 6 hours ago
    I didn't see this in the article, but why not just organize the games in a Discord text channel? Discord has very granular notifications that seem the perfect solution here, so folks can see there are unread messages in #games, and the folks gaming are already on the server.

    One big noisy chat for everything is an antipattern, as any group of sufficient size eventually learns.

    • bombcar 6 hours ago
      One Big Chat is great for the terminally online. Everyone else gets horribly behind.

      Organized channels is the way to go and spending time thinking about setup is worth it. Otherwise they develop naturally and haphazardly.

    • jedimastert 6 hours ago
      The discord of '22 was, iirc, very different from now, or at least the culture around it. It looks like they just only used it for a single voice chat lobby
      • Arainach 5 hours ago
        The Discord of 2020 and before absolutely supported text channels, voice channels, multiple of the above, customizable notifications, and everything required here. Like OP and many others I found myself on a number of Discord servers during the pandemic for voice/video chat, gaming together, etc. and that app was the straightforward solution both for organizing and the actual event for groups of any size from 4-20.
      • ghostly_s 5 hours ago
        The piece was published this week, and yall seem to be missing the point. The goal is to let people know when a VC is happening amongst this group, not to do party matching for whatever game is being played.
    • jedimastert 6 hours ago
      Also this might be a premature optimization issue, it seems like the friend group is only five people and probably very unlikely to grow
  • Aachen 8 hours ago
    s/something/a Discord bot/ to unclickbait the title..
    • tetris11 6 hours ago
      genuinely unbelievable that the story is so highly voted with such a vague title
      • timerol 5 hours ago
        The clickbait makes you click, and the story is about a cool hack, so you upvote. I don't see how this is unbelievable
        • tetris11 5 hours ago
          hn readers aren't usually so easily baited
          • Night_Thastus 3 hours ago
            Yes, they absolutely are. HN is not as niche as it used to be, and clickbait works on everyone.
          • udev4096 4 hours ago
            normies are online! let them fade, along with the post
    • codingdave 5 hours ago
      I completely disagree. The point is the impact it has on lives, not the tools used to build it. I would enjoy it if more people focused their writing on the impact their work has on people, and less on the tools and processes used. Or at the very least, clearly delineate the build from the impact.
      • deltarholamda 5 hours ago
        I see where you're coming from, but I like the way the story is formatted.

        There's plenty to doom and gloom about with the state of tech right now, but this is a good reminder that sometimes even Big Internet tools, with a little ingenuity, can sometimes be repurposed to serve the users and not some corporation's bottom line.

        It's kind of a throwback to the olden days where you might stand up an IRC server or something similar just for your friend group. I like seeing people returning to the small internet where it serves as a substrate for real people doing real things.

        • codingdave 5 hours ago
          It sounds like we agree. I wasn't dissing the article - I was saying that I like this article's writing and want to see more of it, and that I appreciated the title not being about the tech stack.
  • taraindara 3 days ago
    This was a fun read. Being experienced in various methods of self hosting, it was cool to learn of coolify. Seeing more people get into self hosting always makes me happy.
    • udev4096 4 hours ago
      What? This has nothing to do with it. If author was interested in self-hosting, he would have used mumble or something instead of signal/discord
  • henryaj 2 hours ago
    WhatsApp has a somewhat similar feature - pull up to start a group voice chat. You can ping others to let them know you're around.

    https://faq.whatsapp.com/1973730693032338

    • fdgjgbdfhgb 2 hours ago
      The only time I've seen this feature be used is when my grandma accidentally turns it on in the family groupchat - I just don't wanna hang out with my friends in WhatsApp
  • ksynwa 7 hours ago
    If folks don't want to understandably install the discord app perhaps notifications could be sent through something like ntfy. Like create a dedicated channel for notifications for this and have the interested people subscribe to it. Can't say for sure if the discord.py library will allow for something like this but I think it should be possible.
  • braiamp 7 hours ago
    Please, fix the contrast of the clicked links and your background. The discord.py link is unreadable. Same with supabase and coolify. Those I'm sure I haven't visited.
    • drewtato 1 hour ago
      This comment is so interesting because clearly, it's the unvisited color that's broken, you know this, and you even typed it out, but it is so common for visited links to be darker than unvisited links that it makes you assume the opposite.
  • peterldowns 5 hours ago
    Fun story. This reminds me of the summer my friends and I were all still around our small town — we used the Yo! app the same way, as a bat signal to meet up and get into nonsense. Someone would start Yo!ing and then once there was a critical mass of return Yo!s we'd switch to text/phone and link up.

    Good times.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yo_(app)

  • rpgbr 7 hours ago
    I always try to solve problems by using what people already have, so I wonder if having another group on Signal, where only “I'm playing!” messages would be allowed, couldn't fix the issue…?
    • dandano 6 hours ago
      I think it was the fact that actions spoke louder than words for us. It’s easy to say “I’ll jump on” but then you get distracted and then 30 mins later you go online. Similarly to when people say “leaving now” and then they start getting ready to leave. Because we are notified that someone has taken the action of going online they are 100% available to chat or play a game.
      • lazyeye 2 hours ago
        Do discord events allow for connections to ifttt or zapier? Or even just trigger a webhook? If so then you can trigger a smart light bulb in each persons home via these services. To get this to work you create 2 applets triggered by the same webhook. One to turn the light on, then another to turn it off after a specified delay.
    • Ringz 7 hours ago
      I’ve always thought this way and it’s amazing what applications and problems you can solve or replace with text files (csv, TXT, md), calendars (shared) and email. If I had to estimate, 80-90%?

      I always believed in the power of simple tools and don’t reinvent the wheel.

      • rpgbr 2 hours ago
        There's that theory that all apps are just glorified (and/or multiplayer) txt files or spreadsheets. Which is true in… 80–90% of the cases?
        • fragmede 1 hour ago
          what're the last 10-20%?
    • leptons 1 hour ago
      My friend group has multiple Signal chats for different purposes. One is a general chat, no politics allowed. Then there's a chat that is for politics. One is for live music, and there are other sub-groups for specific interests.
  • turbopasi 7 hours ago
    Reminds me of our Teamspeak Server, that we have already running for over 2 decades. Not only for playing games but more for just come online and hang out, quietly sitting next to each other, "lurking". We do this almost every evening, someone is always there. Probably couldn't live without it T.T.
  • subpixel 4 hours ago
    > it was a life savior when my little one was a newborn to jump onto Discord for even 5 minutes to chat with my friends, watch someone play a game and then log off for another diaper change

    I'm afraid I can't relate to this at all. I may a bit older and/or I may have less close friends but I prefer a very different kind of social contact that is more like make plans, meet up, rinse and repeat.

    Back in the AIM/ORC days I loathed being pinged all the time for chit chat - this system reminds me of that!

  • stevage 6 hours ago
    That actually sounds really nice.

    > Over the next year, our group chat (in Signal) was drowning in notifications. A mix of general chit chat, talks on the ever changing news of COVID and the most important - when can people play games and chat. It really annoyed me when people would post on "hey anyone wanna play [game] in 15 mins?", for it to be buried in another 5 messages.

    My friend group's solution to this problem is...lots of different group chats. They're all on Google Chat, but we have tons of different ones for different topics: bikes, space, covid/infectious diseases, baking, craft, plants, wildlife, true crime, politics, depressing news, renewables/sustainability, tech geekery, board games, home improvement...

    I do miss video chat nights during lockdown though.

  • eveld 7 hours ago
    This reminds me a lot of the days when we would just hang in ventrillo and teamspeak to just hang out even when not playing games. Especially around the time when communities gathered around dedicated servers were still a thing. Miss those days :(
  • mlok 5 hours ago
    There is a very weird display bug on this site : when I access it in lanscape horizontal position, with my iPhone 8 on Brave or Safari : all the text is trembling, unable to settle on a size. Trapped in a resizing loop. If I rotate the phone verically it settles properly and then also horizontally. But if I reload the page (horizontally) it goes nuts again :)
  • billdybas 4 hours ago
    > The hardest part was convincing people to download the Discord app on their phone as most of us didn't have it downloaded.

    This was surprising to me – is this typical of most Discord users (primarily desktop users over mobile)?

    • daedrdev 1 hour ago
      They could have been using it in browser. One of discords underrated decisions is that the browser version is fully featured and doesn't force you to download the app, a new user can join a server in their browser with just a name which is as low friction as you can get.
    • OkayPhysicist 3 hours ago
      Discord was originally a place to organize for playing videogames with people. If you're using it for that purpose, you're probably on your computer already (because that's where the games are). Thus, the mobile app ends up being more for checking in with your community while away from the computer, rather than a primary driver of your engagement with the platform.
  • m-hodges 7 hours ago
    This is great. For years I’ve been wanting to solve the “link problem” in my Signal group. My friends post a ton of great links that get lost in the scrollback and I’d love a way to get just a dedicated queue. I’ve thought about things like a private subreddit or even just a different link group; but everything just felt like moving the problem and change management. Great to see this type of solution worked for you!
    • Imustaskforhelp 6 hours ago
      I think Signal should just create a pin option like how discord and a lot of others have.

      But in the meantime if I had to genuinely suggest a method without any friction if you are okay with using code like the author did, then I'd suggest something and lemme know what you think

      Why don't you just create a special emoji that would only be used for the purposes of Pin, like (Oh the irony), and then have a signal cli or signal-bot https://github.com/signal-bot/signal-bot where you could do something like /pins and it would show the pins but you would need a different mobile number or account for that and honestly just a big hassle. I could think of other ways but we would never reach the native User experience that signal could provide if it would allow pin natively

      EDIT: Even a more simpler way could be if we could just search the chat emojis and we could just search <the pin emoji> and it would show it

      Also I am surprised that HN doesn't allow emojis

  • guicen 5 hours ago
    Reminds me of those old coworking circles I used to be part of. Not about being productive really, but more about giving people a reason to show up and talk. Friction gets replaced with rhythm.
  • dnrvs 9 hours ago
    i built the same thing (though only the notifier, not all the stat tracking) for my friend group back in 2017 when PUBG came out and we were trying to play together as often as we could. can confirm it worked great.

    i eventually moved the bot to glitch.com (rip) where we could collaborate on it and it evolved into a monster of in jokes and utilities. it's going offline this week unless i can find the time to migrate it off glitch

  • ZeroCool2u 7 hours ago
    I have a similar friend group that hangs out on discord now due to the post college diaspora and we even use a Signal group chat. However, it sounds like it's a smaller group, because we've taken to literally sending bat signal gifs into the chat when someone gets online and it works well enough for us :)
  • outlore 5 hours ago
    This reminds me of the Houseparty app that took off with my friend group during Covid. It had a mechanism to notify others when someone had joined a party. Fun times
  • aCodeCrafter 8 hours ago
    This is really interesting as a way to keep people connected on a regular basis. I wonder if something similar could be done for groups who aren't necessarily into gaming: like say a "virtual fireplace" where folks could just pop into a call and talk
    • mebizzle 6 hours ago
      Discord is already like that for a lot of niche communities and fandoms that aren't necessarily gaming; it just all evolved on a gaming-focused platform.
  • baby 6 hours ago
    I tried that a long time ago with teamspeak, and then discord, but my friends are not big users of these tools and so it didnt work. Discords do too much. If whatsapp could do this it could work
    • henryaj 2 hours ago
    • Imustaskforhelp 6 hours ago
      I do think that whatsapp could do this tbh if it would actually provide its api like discord does.

      Telegram feels like it can definitely do such stuff and I found in my opinion that its way easier to host telegram bot on cloudflare than it is on discord so theoretically you could even have it as a cf worker with a deploy on cf button so as to even people who don't know too much about deploying could use it.

    • cubefox 6 hours ago
      WhatsApp should totally add that as a feature! A voice chat room with join notifications.
  • johndhi 7 hours ago
    I had the idea of making a website where anyone of a group of friends can post their evening plans - go to trivia, play tennis, etc - and others would be able to sign up to join.

    Never made it but glad to see these things can work.

    • johndhi 7 hours ago
      Anyone know if something like this already exists I could buy or use?
      • Imustaskforhelp 6 hours ago
        I do think this is an interesting idea. Lemme see if I can do this. How do you think the UI/UX should look like.

        Here's what I am thinking. You sign in It asks you what you want to do And at what time (hour) in another column and (date) in another column And then it asks you the location

        And then we can have a contact-me: which could lead to discord or signal. Or, if you aren't comfortable sharing that info, then you could have a shareable link that you can share with anyone and then they can write their email or whatever and you would get live notifications through mail or whatever platform you decided.

        Lemme know if we are on the same page?

        EDIT: I have created a mvp but like, the problem is that it's just a form y'know and I just created something where you would input in this information and it would give html and then you can host it and using https://formsubmit.co/ you can use it. Though I guess one of the issues is that you have to validate each form in formsubmit (not good for ephemeral forms) and I guess it also shows email but there's a way to hide it too.

        Also, I guess the problems aren't of forms but of discoverability. How do you make people discover your forms but I guess one way could be of having a list of all your forms or just the current ones that you want to show (IDK?) on github pages for example and then you could just share the github pages link to anyone or just have it in a about me section of most messengers?

        Also.. Maybe then if you wanted to rather share it to anybody you could create a additional place where anybody can share their forms/such website. But I am not sure if what I've all said is the best user experience.

        • Imustaskforhelp 5 hours ago
          I just realized that I just reinvented a form generator or a form itself...
      • gorpomon 6 hours ago
        This was the original purpose of Twitter-- it was advertised as a network where anyone could post what they're doing and notify their friends immediately. Even until recently tweets could be received via SMS (not sure about the current status of that feature) so you'd see in real time what they're up to.

        Of course, Twitter/X/etc are a far cry from that now-- but it could be worth trying where you and your friends use the service like that.

  • pizzathyme 4 hours ago
    I wish discord would just implement this as a setting.
  • vinceguidry 1 hour ago
    God I'm so jealous you were able to get your friends to join Discord.

    My in-person friend group revolved around the bar we all went to. When the bar shut down, I floated the idea of a group chat but couldn't get anyone interested. No one wants to install another app and get notified more. In olden days, we'd just solve the problem with Facebook, but no one uses that anymore either. My friends are ordinary, normal, overworked people who need an easy option. The bar was that. Show up when you want to connect. Easy.

    So now there's nothing. I basically just lost all my friends. We all have each other's numbers but that's just not an option for coordination.

    Fuck you, Mark Zuckerberg, for making Facebook so shitty it's not even useful anymore for the one thing I ever found it useful for. I hope when we finally start coming for the billionaires, we come for you first.

  • catigula 4 hours ago
    It strikes me: is anyone else sick of people calling developing software "building"? Even as a software developer, it feels very supercilious.
    • Retric 4 hours ago
      No, build “#3. To develop or give form to according to a plan or process; create”

      There’s a line between baking a cake and building a wedding cake where it stops being about the ingredients and starts being about the desired form. https://shunbridal.com/article/how-tobuild-a-wedding-cake

      It’s in that context where building software makes sense. You need to link a bunch of different components together to make a greater whole.

      • catigula 3 hours ago
        I figured someone would attempt to use the technical definition to make their case.

        The problem isn't one of technical definitions, it's one of performative definitions.

        I am technically an Online Communications Solutions Integration Architect, and also a guy posting on an internet forum.

        • Retric 3 hours ago
          I was going by vibes with building a wedding cake. I don’t think writing a 3 line bash script is building software.
    • bongodongobob 4 hours ago
      Yes. Especially things like "solutions architect".
  • mordae 8 hours ago
    Watch Years and Years (2019).
  • alliao 4 hours ago
    Now I feel old, back in my days we all hung out on IRC and we broadcast a wav file to call on friends to join game, and had crazy scripts and bots that did weekly summary, best engagement line and so on and so forth
  • excalibur 4 hours ago
    You guys have friends?
  • subjectsigma 5 hours ago
    I need the opposite of this. Some of my friends just want to sit in Discord and play the same three games all day every day. I either need a way to get them to do something different or to find new friends
  • unethical_ban 6 hours ago
    It seems to me a common enough use case that it should be built into discord.

    I think the "I am here, now" alert does more than the "hey who is around?" message.

  • russellbeattie 7 hours ago
    Interesting. But in my experience, the Australian need for daily social interaction with a group of peers - preferably including some sort of large alcoholic beverage - is quite a bit above average. Not sure how a group of Americans would respond.
  • echelon_musk 8 hours ago
    s/life savior/life saver/
  • apps4datr2025 6 hours ago
    [dead]
  • pyfan878 7 hours ago
    hogged to death :/
  • dangus 3 days ago
    Do you have a link to the bot?
    • dandano 3 days ago
      I don’t sorry - I could clean up the repo and make it public. But if you follow the discord py tutorials it’s very simple to implement.
      • dangus 3 days ago
        [flagged]
        • pchangr 3 days ago
          From the guidelines: “Hacker News Guidelines

          What to Submit On-Topic: Anything that good hackers would find interesting. That includes more than hacking and startups. If you had to reduce it to a sentence, the answer might be: anything that gratifies one's intellectual curiosity.”

          I think this satisfies my intelectual curiosity.

          • dangus 3 days ago
            I understand the guidelines, I am not claiming the post violates guidelines.
            • pchangr 2 days ago
              I didn’t claim it violated them either. I just thought having a curious story was a good enough value for this post to exist. I don’t think it needs code or a product.. in fact .. I wish more people did this kind of posts.. and just encourage people to do stuff for the sake of it .. be it a notification system for your friends … or just a story about friendship.
          • aspenmayer 8 hours ago
            Also from the guidelines, HN is not primarily for (self) promo. This isn’t a Show HN, though, so it’s not necessary for us to have something we can hold and play with. Look with your eyes and enjoy OP’s thing vicariously.

            In the vibe code era, is it gauche to ask for code?

            Considering that OP hasn’t made any other posts or comments in any other threads, it’s fair to assume that they are like 90% of users who don’t post or comment, but they did in this thread about their stuff, so it is sort of a legitimate criticism.

        • SonOfLilit 8 hours ago
          Man, what.

          This is something that Claude will get right in a single prompt. It's the idea that's valuable, as well as the experience report.

          • lukan 8 hours ago
            And .. there is actually code for the bot inside the story.

            Serious advice, some people don't work so well with heat and get angry fast (there is a heat wave in europe right now). Drink a lot and splash your head with water helps ..

        • andrewaylett 8 hours ago
          Fixing a social problem by technical means? That's rare enough to merit shouting about it, even if it's not generally applicable.
        • dizhn 8 hours ago
          I don't get it. What in the post did you find so novel that you want a full solution based on that? It's just a notification service which you can whip up in half an hour with any messaging service. It would probably take 10 minutes to do it using telegram. 30 if you need to create a brand new bot.
        • matkoniecz 9 hours ago
          > So what value is the audience getting out of this article?

          getting idea that they can replicate or confirmation that such idea worked for someone

    • xyst 8 hours ago
      It’s literally in the post, m8.

      Perhaps read it, use one of the many discord wrapper apis, and replicate it. He just hooks into one of the many events discord emits and bot sends a message.

      Even one of the LLMs can very easily vibe code this…